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50 Things I Learned In Bed

For two months I was completely bedridden...they said it was a kidney infection, then they said a virus...swelling on my brain made it difficult to speak, read or write - even walk at times. The exhaustion was so debilitating that showering was a major victory. Pain management was the clock I lived by.

But even in the dark times, we can find humour. So this week's blog is a collection of random thoughts and lessons learned watching life...from my bed.


1. Whoever invented NetFlix from the bottom of my heart, thank you.

2. I'm so grateful to live where I can see the doctor over and over and not lose my house.

3. My GP says go to emergency for care....the emerge doc says go see my GP. Huh?

4. More tests today...I'm starting to think the doctors might not know everything.

5. Maybe I can just will myself to health....mind over matter.

6. Why can't I feel my left leg?

7. I thought it was crazy to invest in a Tempurpedic mattress. Ha.

8. Christmas does not feel the same when your family is gathered in the kitchen without you.

9. If you ignore symptoms, they don't just go away.

10. Television commercials are toxic. I'm suppose to hang my head in shame and hide my face because of one pimple? Good Lord.

11. More flowers arrived! I love flowers. I have the best friends ever.

12. Why would I take a drug that causes the long list of symptoms the announcer is rhyming off while trying to distract me with images of beautiful, happy people smiling...? Like I won't notice he said 'and may cause death'.

13. Test results will be in today. Dear God please let them find something.

14. Turns out doctors don't know everything.

15. Oh more person telling me I was just too busy and that's why I'm sick. Bless your heart (the Nashville way).

16. I miss having dinner with my family at the table.

17. More test results saying I'm fine. Yes, clearly I am fine.

18. Why is CTV playing episodes of Criminal Minds from 2008 on Primetime?

19. Time to see an ND. I'm thinking the "M" is for "maxed out".

20. These new tests are gonna cost how much???

21. Alternative health is my only option for answers? I want my taxes back.

22. Wow you're so busy...yes, I live a full life...I'd like to get back to it please.

23. Another email with a link for a cure. You're sweet. We don't know what's wrong with me yet.

24. When did the word "busy" become a social status?

25. I have the most amazing kids ever.

26. I miss going to the store. I hated going to the store.

27. What's this Amazon thing everyone keeps talking about?

28. Why is my forehead falling down over my eyes?

29. So it takes six weeks to get results back from the lab? Sheesh.

30. I will attempt a shower by myself today.

31. Documentaries are terrifying. I don't really want to know the truth.

32. What do you mean high functioning doesn't mean healthy?

33. I eat vegetables. French fries are vegetables.

34. When passing out is probable, showering alone is not advisable.

35. So, the swelling in my face will go down...eventually? Nice.

36. Why are my lips blue?

37. All I have to do is just click on the stuff I want to buy and it will show up at my door? Whoa.

38. Narcotics are my friend.

39. Yes, I'd love to watch yet one more movie. Oh goodie.

40. Yes, I'm very excited to play Bluesfest this year, thank you. Just have to be able to shower. And walk. I've got four months. No problem.

41. Oh look! The UPS truck is here....with my package!!! Wow this is amazing.

42. Missed a call from the doctor, shoot. I love that she calls, like in person, herself.

43. If I can't sing anymore but I could work as a NetFlix critic.

Ask me anything.

44. Walking to the kitchen for a glass of juice is epic.

45. Narcotics are still my friend.

46. Thread count matters. Don't let anyone tell you otherwise.

47. How can I not fit into any of my clothes? I have barely eaten and barely moved for six weeks!!!

48. Maybe I'll walk the dog today. A girl can dream.

49. Test results don't take six weeks. Pants on fire.

50. I have Lyme Disease? Now what.

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